procrastination-station13:

smokecigarettesamongstthestones:

My brother says “shit happens” in response to everything

My brother was given a “shit happens” mug because of this

My brother loved his “shit happens” mug like a child

Last week, my brother dropped his “shit happens” mug

You probably know what his reaction was

Shit happens

(via drewdorriere)


(via drewdorriere)


15piecesofflare:

experminate:

thehighwayaisle:

You know sweatpants?

In Australia we call them trakky-dacks. 

im starting to think you aussies are just fucking with us

we actually aren’t and that’s the horrendous part.

(via drewdorriere)


benedicts-doublechins:

Okay so a guy held a door open and as I was walking I thought in my head ’ thanks mister attractive face” and then he giggled and I realized it wasN’T IN MY HEAD AND HE JUST KEPT GIGGLING LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD

(via dutchster)


ajantas:

this idea of “just turn off anon” reminds me of like teaching girls how not to get raped vs teaching boys not to rape. obviously there is a drastic difference but, why don’t we just discourage sending anon hate instead of suggesting that I have to do certain things to avoid it

(via dutchster)


acomas:

my hobbies include eating and complaining that i’m getting fat

(via cardinalmisdirection)


emmysaurus:

taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 7 years?? no one can be sure

(via dutchster)


reasonsmysoniscrying:

"His brother held the wrong hand."
Submitted By: Geneviève B.
Location: Ontario, Canada

reasonsmysoniscrying:

"His brother held the wrong hand."
Submitted By: Geneviève B.
Location: Ontario, Canada


taliabobalia:

freyjas:

dungeonsanddamsels:

once i had a breakdown and cried into my pillow and this happened and i feel like this is an accurate representation of my current mental state

it looks like the cover of the great gatsby


now it is the cover of the great gatsby

taliabobalia:

freyjas:

dungeonsanddamsels:

once i had a breakdown and cried into my pillow and this happened and i feel like this is an accurate representation of my current mental state

it looks like the cover of the great gatsby

image

now it is the cover of the great gatsby

(via sweetqueenmartin)


fishingboatproceeds:

sopheos:

the fault in our realtors

This is the John Green who owns johngreen.com. For many years, I wanted (desperately) to be the first person to come up when you searched “John Green” on google*, and John Green the Realtor was in my way. Plus, I narrowly missed the window to own johngreen.com, and I always resented John Green the Realtor.
(But really it was my fault: I told Hank in the late 90s that I didn’t want my own domain name because it was a waste of money and that I’d rather him build me a web site for my college “comedy writing” using a subdomain of his web site about Mars Exploration. “People don’t type URLs,” I told him. “They click them. So it doesn’t matter what your web site is called.” Other brilliant Internet predictions from me include, “Lonelygirl15 is definitely real,” “There will never be an Internet audience for widescreen video,” “MySpace is cooler than Facebook,” and “I don’t understand what a tumblr even is; it’s like a blog, but I already have a blog; why would I need a new blog?”)
Anyway, I know that some people on tumblr feel like I apologize too much, but I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to John Green the Realtor, who has done a great job with johngreen.com and seems by all accounts to be an excellent choice for your real estate needs in Southwestern Tennessee and northern Mississippi. 

* I am deeply embarrassed of this ambition, but anyway this was in the days before google personalized search, when there was but one Internet for all of us.

fishingboatproceeds:

sopheos:

the fault in our realtors

This is the John Green who owns johngreen.com. For many years, I wanted (desperately) to be the first person to come up when you searched “John Green” on google*, and John Green the Realtor was in my way. Plus, I narrowly missed the window to own johngreen.com, and I always resented John Green the Realtor.

(But really it was my fault: I told Hank in the late 90s that I didn’t want my own domain name because it was a waste of money and that I’d rather him build me a web site for my college “comedy writing” using a subdomain of his web site about Mars Exploration. “People don’t type URLs,” I told him. “They click them. So it doesn’t matter what your web site is called.” Other brilliant Internet predictions from me include, “Lonelygirl15 is definitely real,” “There will never be an Internet audience for widescreen video,” “MySpace is cooler than Facebook,” and “I don’t understand what a tumblr even is; it’s like a blog, but I already have a blog; why would I need a new blog?”)

Anyway, I know that some people on tumblr feel like I apologize too much, but I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to John Green the Realtor, who has done a great job with johngreen.com and seems by all accounts to be an excellent choice for your real estate needs in Southwestern Tennessee and northern Mississippi. 


* I am deeply embarrassed of this ambition, but anyway this was in the days before google personalized search, when there was but one Internet for all of us.


starweilder:

trying to figure out someone else’s shower

image

(via sweetqueenmartin)


buckbarrow:

do you ever have second-hand obsessions

like one of your friends is super obsessed with a thing so whenever you see something about it you’re like “YES THIS THING” but you’re not the one obsessed with it. they are. you know very little about this thing and yet it still excites you because it excites your friend

(via sweetqueenmartin)


crazy-chick-with-crazy-hair:

rollerskater:

this is the most accurate representation of this scene

OMFG

crazy-chick-with-crazy-hair:

rollerskater:

this is the most accurate representation of this scene

OMFG

(via sweetqueenmartin)


cuddlecafe:

me: twirls hair

me: pops bubble gum

me: tell me about it……………………. stud

u: *.*

(via dutchster)


trinitymemes:

Natalie Tran is so awesome, she’s bored.

#TUNESDAY ft. NATALIE TRAN

(via cardinalmisdirection)